Goodbye
by Maggs1
Summary: M/L shipper peice, cause we need some with all of the angst and now the m/a stuff that is out there. chapter 17 up COMPETE M/L FLUFF!
1. this woman's work

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
Summery: During HG my take on what would have happened if Joshua's blood hadn't worked.  
  
AN: another sad m/l romance piece. Sorry I will write some nice fluffy stuff soon to make up for it I promise. Oh and The song is "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. The song is between * marks *.  
  
  
*Pray god you can cope   
I stand outside this woman's work,  
this woman's world.*  
  
  
"What do you mean that Joshua isn't immune?"   
  
"I'm sorry Max, but you said he was the first, they might have not had the technology to make him immune to the same diseases as you."  
  
"So what are you saying, what does this mean?"  
  
"Logan's dying Max. There's nothing we can do to stop it. Now we are just trying to make him comfortable." Tears silently slipped from Max's eyes as she tried to digest the information she had just been given.   
  
"Can I see him?"   
  
"Yes, but you should know that he will be getting worse, and that he doesn't have long."  
  
Max slowly walked into the hospital room. She saw Logan lying in the bed struggling to breathe hooked up to tons of machines keeping him alive. She didn't see how this was possible. Logan was strong, she might be genetically enhanced, but he was the real strong one. He was always there ready to catch her when she would fall. Now he needed these damn machines to stay alive. And in a few hours, there were no machines that would be able to even do that. And she simply didn't understand. How was it possible for such a strong man to now be so weak. But she knew that it was her fault.   
  
*Oh, it's hard on the man   
Now his part is over  
Now starts the craft of the father.*  
  
"Max."  
  
"Hey Logan. I have some bad news."  
  
"It's ok Max they already told me, I have a few hours." As Logan said that more tears escaped Max's eyes.   
  
"I am so sorry Logan."  
  
"Max this isn't your fault I grabbed you remember."  
  
"Maybe, but I shouldn't have been near you in the first place."  
  
"Max please you have to know that this is in no way your fault." He looked at her pleadingly. "Please don't blame yourself for this. I want you to be happy, I want to die knowing that you will be happy."  
  
"How could I possibly be happy Logan, you wont be there." She had always feared what she was about to say, she thought that if she did it would just lead to more pain. But now she knew she had to. She couldn't let him die without letting him know.  
  
*I know you have a little life in you yet  
I know you have a lot of strength left  
I know you have a little life in you yet  
I know you have a lot of strength left*  
  
"I should have told you a long time ago Logan, but I always told myself that it was never the right time, when it was something else got in the way. That was just an excuse I had almost two years to tell you and I didn't because I was scared. I love you Logan, I always have. You are everything to me, you are my strength, my hope, my heart, you are the you reason I fight, the reason I live. All that I have in me that is good I have because of you. And truthfully I don't know how I can keep this up, how I can continue to live with such pain without you there." Logan reached out for her hand and she instinctively pulled away.  
  
"Max honey," Logan had always wanted to use pet names for her and figured someday they would be together and he could. Now he had very little time to use terms of endearment with Max. He had so little time to do any of the things he wanted to do with Max. "I am dying anyway, please let me touch you." He reached for her hand again and she didn't pull away, instead she intertwined her fingers with his. "I love you too Max, and I want you too keep living, and to be happy."  
  
"How?"  
  
"The same way you did before you met me, only now whenever it hurts just remember I love you. Not even death will stop me from loving you Max." He pulled her closer and she leaned down next to him. He reached up with his other hand and gently stroked her cheek. This was advancing the virus in him, making him die more quickly, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything else as long as he was touching Max.   
  
*I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things I should've said That I never said,*  
  
They stayed like that for a few minutes. Then Logan felt something it was hard to describe, but it felt like he was slipping away. "Max, It's almost time."   
  
"Logan no!" Max sobbed out and collapsed. She was sitting beside him, but instead of leaning over him her head was resting on his chest. He reached up and slowly stoked her hair. "Please don't leave me, not yet."  
  
"I wish I could stay with you forever Max, but it's time for me to go." He cupped her cheek with his palm and dragged her face close to his. They kissed, the kiss was gentle and soft, but urgent, and filled with love. "Will you love me for the rest of my life?" She shook her head.  
  
"I'll love you for the rest of mine." She said gently as he started to shake.  
  
"I love you Max." He managed to say quietly before the beeping on his heart monitor became a flat line. In the end Logan died the way he always knew he would, loving Max with her loving him.   
  
"Goodbye Logan." Max whispered then laid her head back down on his chest.  
  
*All the things we should've done That we never did, All the things I should've given But I didn't Oh, darling, make it go, Make it go away.*  
Max eventually left the hospital when the doctors told her she had to. She went back to her place, but it didn't feel right. She went to the space needle, but still she felt there was somewhere else she needed to be. She didn't even realize where she was going until she somehow found herself picking the lock of Logan's apartment. She walked in and walked through each room. There were so many memories of them everywhere. Where they met, or would eat, or that time they flirted in his workout room, where they had kissed, where they cooked pasta tricolore together. She walked through to his bedroom slowly removed her shoes and slipped under the covers. She could smell him on the sheets and pillow. She knew this is where her heart had wanted her to be, so she stayed right there, not sleeping just lying there. And she didn't get up for days she just let time pass.   
*Give me these moments back Give them back to me Give me that little kiss Give me your hand.*  
She finally got out of bed three days later. But only because Original Cindy had forced her to. She went to the funeral and Original Cindy another friend always stayed close to her because she kept zoning out so badly that she would just fall right over. Facing the reality of the situation was just too hard for her to do all of the time. Everything still seemed so surreal. She just couldn't believe he was gone.  
  
*I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left*  
  
The only man she would ever love was gone forever. She would never see him again never look into his eyes, hear his voice, touch him, kiss him. And she didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to live without him.  
  
*I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things we should've said That were never said. All the things we should've done That we never did*  
  
And she felt completely empty inside. Like she had died too. And in a way she had. The only thing she felt now was the pain of him not being there.  
  
*All the things that you needed from me All the things that you wanted for me All the things I should've given But I didn't*  
  
And nothing could ever make it better.  
  
*Oh, darling, make it go away Just make it go away now. *  
  
  
AN: sorry for having another sad one again. Please review it is my first real song fic (I have used a song or two in a chapter of a story but never had one for the hole story.) Even if you hated it just review to let me know you are reading it. 


	2. the letter

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
  
AN: Thanks for the reviews. Ok originally I hadn't planed on continuing this but I couldn't write a second sad one so I needed to fix this one to be happy and this is how I did that. Btw anything that is written in a note will have this ********* before and after it.  
  
  
**************  
I lied to you I am sorry. I know you must hate me for what I did, and I don't blame you. I shouldn't have hurt you like that. I was just protecting you.   
**************  
  
  
Max crumpled the note and threw it away. "That's not right." she mumbled to herself frustrated. "It's not even true." 'Ok Max you can do this just write from the heart.' Max thought trying to calm down so she could get this right.  
  
  
***************  
Logan,  
I am sorry for all of the pain that I have caused you. You are the last person I ever wanted to hurt. I got so frustrated with being near you and not being able to touch you. Then when you were in the hospital that was the last straw. I zoned out and had this day dream while Joshua was transfusing you. In it the transfusion didn't work and you died. We had to say goodbye, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, watch you die, even if it wasn't real. And then that feeling that you told me about when I died, I knew what you were really talking about. For the first time I understood. But for me staying around you I risked really loosing you forever. If I said goodbye and we stopped seeing each other, you would be okay. And you would still be there if we ever worked this out and then I could still hope that maybe someday it would work out. And this way it was just goodbye for a while. I thought that it was necessary to keep from hurting you. But sitting here I thought if you had been the one to say goodbye that would have been more painful then anything else I have ever endured. And for you it must be worse. Because I let you think that I didn't love you and I was with Alec. It's not true Logan I could never be with Alec or anyone else, because I am in love with you. I should have told you a long time ago. And I really shouldn't have said goodbye without telling you. I shouldn't have said goodbye at all. And I know you have no reason to forgive me, but I was kind of hoping you would anyway. I love you Logan and I need to be with you. And no matter what you decide I will love you always.  
Love,   
Max  
*****************  
'I think I said everything I needed to, yeah it will do.' Max thought as she folded it and put it in an envelope. She thought back to that daydream she had at the hospital. She knew it wasn't real but still it made her almost cry thinking of it. Max rode to Logan's the letter in her pocket. She got there and was about to slip it under the door. Instead she just gripped it tight for a minute staring at it. 'Please like it Logan, please be what you need to hear' She thought as she slipped it under his door. In that one instant she immediately gave all the control away. She laid her heart out to him, and now it was up to him what happened. She was completely powerless.  
  
AN: I know it is lame and I have done it before, but I just couldn't have another sad story. Let me know what you think of me doing this and what you think of the story in general. As soon as I get 8 or more reviews i will post the next chapter. 


	3. she lied

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
  
AN: Now I see I only get reviews if I threaten to withhold the next chapter. Well any way thanks for writing them. This chapter is what is happening with Logan at the same time Max is bringing the letter over.   
  
  
Logan was drunk. He had been drunk ever since he saw Max and Alec together outside her apartment. He wasn't stumbling drunk, but he was close. But he knew he had something he needed to do. He had checked at the apartment but no one was there. So now he was walking to crash. He walked in and that is where he spotted Alec. He loved Max and still wanted her to be happy, but he hated Alec. After all this was all Alec's fault.   
  
The fact that Alec was a genetically enhanced killing machine, that up until a few months ago was still a solider never accrued to Logan as he walked over. It also didn't accrue to him when without a word he hit him right in the face. Unfortunately it didn't accrue to him until Alec on reflex had hit Logan back right in the gut with such a force it sent him back about ten feet. Logan just sat there on the ground and Alec finally realizing who it was half shouted, "Shit Logan, what is this all about."  
  
"What do you fucking think it's about!" Logan said standing up slowly.  
  
"Logan seriously I have no idea, I haven't done anything that wrong in a while." Alec said slightly confused.  
  
"It's about you and Max." Logan spat out at him.  
  
"What I didn't do anything to Max, I didn't hurt her at all." Alec was now seriously confused, he hadn't done anything that would hurt Max in a while. Last he saw her they were getting along pretty well.  
  
"What you normally hurt the girls you are dating!" Logan hated this man even more than he had a second ago.  
  
"No! I never hurt girls I date!" Just then something clicked in Alec's head. "Wait a minute dating? Max and I aren't dating Logan." Alec said now wondering why he thought this.  
  
"Fine then, sleeping together." Logan said with disgust.  
  
"Logan, Max and I are in no way involved. Where in the hell did you get a crazy idea like that?" Alec said picking up his beer and taking a gulp.  
  
"I saw you leaving her apartment this morning!" By no Logan was shouting, and they had drawn a small crowed but neither of them cared, Logan didn't even notice.  
  
"I was arrested for Ben's murders. Max broke me out. We had coffee after and she told me about what happened with Ben and how she killed him. That was it! What you see that and then decide to hit me!"  
  
"You can stop lying Alec I already talked to Max." Logan was annoyed. Alec was only making Logan hate him more by lying.  
  
"I don't know what she said or why she did, but nothing happened with her. Nothing has ever happened." Alec stated firmly.  
  
"Are you telling me that Max lied to me." Logan said it accusing Alec, like why believe him over Max, but when he heard himself say it he realized it was true. "Max lied to me." That Logan said more to himself as it really hit him. She had lied. They had always been perfectly honest with each other if nothing else. He loved her and she had lied. Well on the upside at least she really wasn't sleeping with Alec.  
  
AN: Ok it is petty to do but it seems to be the only thing that works and I am feeling seriously unappreciated with everything in my life lately so the next chapter will be posted as soon as I get eight or more reviews. They don't have to be nice they just have to be reviews. 


	4. confrontations

AN: Thanks for the reviews they mean a lot to me! This fic will be a few chapters more chapters long but I don't really know how I am ending it so I am open to any sugestions or ideas.  
  
  
  
  
  
He was hurt, but more than that he was mad. Logan didn't bother knocking, she never did so why should he. He simply used the key she had given him last year 'for emergencies' and walked right into her apartment. There she was siting on the couch, not doing anything just siting staring out into space. "Logan!" Max jumped she hadn't expected to hear from him ever again, forget this soon. She was about to say something, but Logan didn't give her a chance.  
  
"You lied to me." His voice was so cold and hard so full of anger it scared Max. They had fought before, but she had never seen him like this.  
  
"Logan I am sorry I am so sorry. I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am I know it was stupid..."  
  
"It was stupid!" Logan was really shouting now. "I was always honest with you Max. Always! Even when it was hard I told you the truth. I told you I loved you. I let you read my poetry. I was always open with you. And I didn't mind when you weren't open with me too. But you outright lied to me. What was it fun for you. Did you run out of other ways to hurt me. You thought I know lets try something new. Let me tell him that I don't want to be with anymore, because the guy I have been cheating on him with is who I want to be with now! Was that what was going through your fucking head Max! You could have just said that you didn't love me that would have hurt me enough. But not you Max, the truth wouldn't have been painful enough, so you had to lie to make it worse. You saw how much it hurt me when you fucked that guy last year and thought I should have to feel that again. Was that is Max was that why you did it?" Logan didn't even see how much his words were hurting her. He was so blinded by pain and anger he didn't see that she was on the brink of crying. And then he added the final blow. "That is if you can manage to tell me the truth." At that phrase her tears overflowed.  
  
"I already told you why Logan, I did it because I love you, and I didn't want to hurt you. And I know I ended up hurting you anyway and I am sorry. I guess I shouldn't have even bothered with the note."  
  
"What are you talking about you never told me, and what note?"  
  
"You didn't get my note?"  
  
"What note."  
  
"I slipped it under your door." Max was still crying, her heart broken by his words.  
  
"I didn't get it." He said for the first time seeing that Max was crying.  
  
"Then how?"  
  
"I ran into Alec at crash." He said simply. "What was in the note?"  
  
"Go home and read it you son of a bitch." Max's heart was broken, but she was still strong, and she would not let him just hurt her this way.   
  
"What?" Logan was stunned.  
  
"You want to know the difference between what I did and what you just did." Max paused for a second, but Logan just waited for her to continue. "I lied because I didn't want you to be hurt or killed. I never meant to hurt you. You came hear and said those things specifically to hurt me." By now Max was walking toward Logan making him back toward the door to make sure they didn't touch. "I love you too much to ever try to hurt you." He was now out the door. "Apparently that isn't mutual." She shut the door in Logan's face.   
  
Logan went home feeling like a bastard. When he found and read the note he felt worse. 'She loves me. And made a mistake, but was trying to protect me. And I was an ass to her. Now she wont talk to me. God I need a drink.'  
  
  
  
AN: Once again thanks for the reviews I will get a new chapter up as soon as I can, but remember reviews inspire me to write. 


	5. becoming friends

Disclaimer not mine  
  
  
AN: thanks for all the reviews especially Max, the reviews keep me happily writing. Short chapter not much happens but I don't think it's bad so read it and review it please.  
  
"What's that?" Alec had just come over next to Logan and was referring to the paper he was grasping to tightly it looked like it was about to tare. He saw Logan return to the bar a little over an hour after he left. And all he had done since he got back was drink and read that paper again and again.  
  
"This is the proof that I am a bastard." Logan said waving it around.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Alec asked sitting down next to him at the bar.  
  
"I was mad and I went and yelled at Max for lying to me. I was really mad and got kinda carried away, then I find out she had already slipped this under my door." Alec read the note of Max's and looked up at Logan.  
  
"You were right you are a bastard." Alec paused for a second taking a sip of his beer,   
  
"What did she do?"  
  
"Called me a son of a bitch and kicked me out."  
  
"Wow you got off easy she could have really hurt you." Alec was surprised Max stood up for herself with everyone, anyone besides Logan would have left her place in an ambulance. She must really love him  
  
"She did, she cried. Knowing that I caused her that pain, I made her cry, It tore me up inside it kills me to see her cry and not be able to make it better."  
  
"Just consider yourself lucky she didn't actually kill you." They sat together and drank for a while in silence.   
  
"Sorry I hit you earlier." Logan said braking the silence.   
  
"Sorry I flung you half way across the room." Alec replied.  
  
"I had it coming." Logan admitted to Alec.  
  
"You know you really did." Alec said with a small grin getting a glare from Logan.  
  
  
  
  
  
An hour and many drinks later.   
  
  
  
  
"You love her right?" Asked a slightly drunk Alec.  
  
"Who?" Logan asked more obviously drunk.  
  
"Max" Alec replied a little too loudly.   
  
"I'm somebody" He said in a voice that if he was sober would have been a sly whisper but now was just slurred drunk talk.   
  
"What?" Alec asked confused  
  
"I'm the somebody. Forever eyes, dark somebody's angel." He paused seeing that Alec still wasn't getting it and decided to clarify. "I'm...the...somebody" He said slowly as if that made it perfectly clear.   
  
"What's that?" Alec asked in reference to the Forever eyes, dark somebody's angel.   
  
"Max's poem."   
  
"Maxie writes poems?"   
  
"No a poem about Max." Logan said exasperated, as if it was obvious.  
  
"You wrote it?" Alec asked, Logan simply nodded in response. "And she's your angel?" He nodded again. "and you do love her?" Logan nodded one more time. "Then tell her."  
  
"Did" Logan said simply.  
  
"And?"   
  
"Love's me, but I'm a bastard." Logan said his voice full of guilt, pain, and alcohol.  
  
Yeah you fucked up. But she will forgive it. I mean look at how much she forgives me for?"  
  
"Yeah and your an ass." Logan said with a small chuckle.  
  
"Yeah well so are you." Alec replied. And those words are the words that finally a friendship between these two men.  
  
  
AN: sorry it took so long I was away for the weekend. Please review as soon as i get eight reviews i will drop everything and get the next chapter up i promise. 


	6. pleading

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: thanks for all of the reviews they mean a lot to me.  
  
  
"Hello...STOP CALLING!" She slams the phone down. "Max he called again." Original Cindy said walking into Max's room. Max was sitting curled up on her bed. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had obviously been crying. She was eating a pint of chocolate ice cream, something that was extremely expensive and rare, that they had been saving, but Original Cindy had insisted that she get comfort food. Original Cindy sat down next to Max who leaned on her shoulder.   
  
"I should have known better." Max said quietly.  
  
"What's that boo?"  
  
"I should have known better then to believe he would never hurt me, that he loved me."  
  
"Boo he might have hurt you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. That's why love is so scary, the people we love are the ones that can hurt us the most." Original Cindy said hugging Max tightly  
  
"Not on purpose though. If someone loves you they would never try to hurt you." There was a knock at the door that interrupted them   
  
"I'll get it boo." Original Cindy got up and went to the door opening it and seeing Logan. "Go away" She tried to shut the door but his foot was in it stopping her. "Get out Logan."  
  
"Just let me tell her something I will stay right here and you can supervise if I say something you don't like you can kick me out I will go without a fight." Logan pleaded with his loves best friend.  
  
"You have five minutes and I am listening you better not cross the line."   
  
"Thank you ...Max" Logan called to her through the door to her. "I'm sorry Max. I was an ass before. I was mad and dumb and drunk and I was a bastard. I wasn't trying to hurt you I just wasn't thinking. I just really wanted to know why, but I was so upset I started to say things that I didn't mean. I should never have hurt you please believe that I never wanted to. I could never try to hurt you Max I love you too much. I do Max I love you so much. I can't imagine living my life without you. I wake up every morning and my first thoughts are of you, what you are doing, if I will see you, how you are doing, if you are happy. I would do anything to make you happy Max and I still will. I love you and don't know how to live without you. But you are more important to me than how I am doing. And if you need to be away from me to be happy I will leave you alone. Just know Max that I love you. So Max what do you want?"  
  
AN: please please please review. 


	7. just let me hate you

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
  
AN: Thanks for all of the reviews they mean a lot to me. This is a very short chapter but worth reading in my opinion.  
  
  
The door opened slowly. Logan could feel his breath catch and his heart stop in anticipation of what was to come. Finally there she stood. Max was in the door. She looked like she had been crying and had been confused, but like she had reached a decision. But by looking at her there was no way to tell what that decision was. Max's face gave away nothing. Logan didn't know what to think until she spoke. "You are a bastard Logan Cale." Max's words were cold and stale. There was no wavier or pain evident in her voice. It broke Logan's heart.  
  
She did not forgive him. they weren't going to end up together. Logan was going to be alone. But if it made Max happy he would go. He would never see her or speak to her again, but not a second would pass that she would not be in his thoughts, in his heart.  
  
"Why couldn't you just let me hate you." Max's cold face broke for just an instant all the pain and anguish she was feeling flashed across her features. It wasn't for long she covered it quickly, but Logan saw it. "You couldn't just let me hate you and let this be done. You had to come back and say that." Logan was stunned by her words. Did this mean that she didn't hate him. "And I do hate you Logan! I hate what you did to me. I hate the fact that you can hurt me that much. And I hate how I can't hide from you. And I hate how you know me so well,. And I hate that I'm not alone! And I hate that I don't hate you now, that I never have and never could. I fucking hate that I love you!" With this Max broke down. She simply fell to the ground, her legs giving out. It killed Logan that he couldn't go to her and help her up, comfort her. "It's just so hard, why couldn't you just let me be free of this. Why couldn't you just let me get back to my old life, where I didn't have anyone."  
  
Hearing this Original Cindy, who had faded into the background but not left earlier, spoke up. "Max did you really like it all that much?" She stepped closer to her. "Before when you were all alone. When no one knew you at all, no one loved you, you didn't love anyone. Was that better, or just easier?"  
  
  
AN: Once again sorry this chapter was so short. I know I will be ending the story soon enough, but don't yet know how I will end it so I am open to any suggestions you guy's have for the story. I am pretty busy but if I get ten reviews I will drop everything and post the next chapter for you guys. Otherwise the next chapter will be posted when I have more time for it. 


	8. I took the one less travled by

Disclaimer not mine  
  
AN: shortest chapter I have ever written, sorry. But I knew what Max's decision would be, but I still don't know what I am going to do with the story next and wanted this to be seperate.   
  
  
  
  
"Easier." Max replies in a small voice and starts to cry. "It was so much easier, I knew what to do. I took care of myself no one else. And I hurt no one, I didn't have to worry about any of it. This is just so hard all of the time I never get a break."  
  
"But Max even if you could get back to that would you want it a life that...empty?" Original Cindy said sitting next to her crumpled form in the doorway. Max looked up at her, but still she wasn't sure. When she looked at Logan she saw back to all their time together both good and bad. And she thought about now, all of the trouble all of the pain and angst. And the love. She shook her head slowly. She chose in that instant the path she would take. The path that was hard, but in the end worth it. 'Hey like Frost said "I took the path less travled by, and that has made all the diference." Lets just hope he was right.' Max thought.   
  
"I love you Logan."  
  
  
  
AN: I have no idea what I am going to do next with the story if you have any idea's or sugestions let me know. Ten reviews and I will drop everything and post the next chapter otherwise you will have to wait until I can get some time to get it done. 


	9. the things I have missed

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: thanks you guy's especially Max for all of the reviews they mean a lot to me.   
  
  
"I love you too Max." Logan said slightly comforted, but still anxious about something. "But does this mean what I hope it means?"  
  
"It means that your not out of the dog house yet, but buying your girlfriend some flowers might help that." Max replied with a smirk.   
"If I remember correctly I still need to get you flowers, and jewelry." Logan said matching Max's smile. "But why don't we start my groveling process with me cooking you diner?"  
  
"I could use a culinary miracle right about now." Max stood and realized that Original Cindy was no longer next to her. She had left them alone as soon as Max had said that she loved him, although neither Max nor Logan had noticed her leave at the time, they were to absorbed in each other. The building could have been coming down around them and they wouldn't have noticed.   
  
Logan walked over next to Max, who was still siting on the floor. He then pulled out his leather gloves and put them on. He reached down and slowly tucked a lose strand of hair behind Max's ear. He let his hand rest there for a second cupping her cheek. The touch even through the leather glove was magical to the pair in love. He then took her handed helped her up. He wouldn't let go of her hand after, and she didn't try to let go. They held hand as they walked out of the apartment together.  
  
"You know Logan, this doesn't mean that everything is solved." Max spoke up quietly from the passenger seat. They had both been avoiding this for a while, but now on the drive to his place, Max knew she had to speak up.  
  
"I know" Logan agreed with a sigh. "I know we still have a long way to go."  
  
"But it's a good first step." Max said with a smile. Logan smiled back, it warmed her heart. It had been so long since she had seen him smile like that. She realized in that instant just how much she had missed it, missed everything.  
  
"We need to talk, come up with what we are going to do. Some sort of plan." Logan looked over at Max while she spoke. He could see the ideas turning in her head she was calculating what was to be done like she would a battle plan.   
  
"Calm down soldier." Logan said with a teasing tone and a smirk, earning him a death glare from Max. "Why don't we start with dinner, then we can talk and sort some stuff out." She was still glaring, "ok honey." That turned Max's stare of death into a look of surprise at his use of honey. Then a smile crossed her face.  
  
"Honey?"   
  
"Do you mind me using words like that with you?" Logan asked concerned that he had scared her.  
  
"No, no it's just no one has ever called me honey, not even Darren." Max said remembering the ass she dated two years ago. "It's just didn't seem to fit with me, words like honey or sweety or cupcake."  
  
"Well I agree with the cupcake, but what is wrong with the other two I think they fit you, but if you don't like them I wont use them."  
  
"No I like it. If they had called me something like sweety it would have been strange, but when you do it just sounds right." They both smiled at her admission. "Just don't use it around crash, or whenever Alec is around. I would never hear the end of it."  
  
"Not a problem." Logan said with a chuckle. 'Logan laughing god I missed that too.' Max thought as they drove towards his apartment.  
  
  
  
AN: So what do you think let me know. I will post the next chapter as soon as I get some reviews. 


	10. Hope

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: Thanks everyone for the reviews. I really appreciate them. This chapter contains the hole idea of Logan's legs from 'She aint heavy' but nothing else. The hole thing with the clone didn't happen in my story. Oh and just to say something does anyone else agree that Asha was a real bitch telling Logan that Max and Alec were together?   
  
  
  
They ate there meal both knowing that they had a serious talk coming up, but both ignoring the fact too. While they ate they enjoyed themselves. They talked and joked and laughed. they let themselves be happy just being together. Then after dinner they sat down in the livingroom with coffee and for a while they were both silent not knowing what to say how to start the conversation. Eventually Logan started it with something that was sort of positive, something Max was sure to agree with. "We need to do this more often, you know talk have fun. Just spend time together."  
  
"I know Logan I missed us like this, like we used to be together." Max said then added another thing of her own. "We need to talk more be more open with each other."  
  
Logan nodded then added something, "And when something happens we can't just get pissy with the other person."  
  
"Hey I don't get pissy!" Max said earning a look from Logan. "Well I'm not as bad as you are."  
  
"That's why I said US and not YOU." Logan explained.  
  
"Oh"  
  
"I mean we have seriously drifted and we are both at fault." Logan added hoping Max wouldn't get upset.  
  
"I know"  
  
Logan decided to change the subject they had agreed on the problem and that they were going to try to fix that, now he wanted to know about fixing a very big problem. "You have been looking for a cure on your own right?" Max nodded her head. "So have I, but we should look together." Max nodded again then thought of something.  
  
"When you get frustrated you need to talk to me about it Logan." Max said in a soft voice.  
  
"And when you get scared you need to talk to me." Logan said in the same tone. He wanted to touch her right at that instant just to take her hand and let her know that it would be ok. But sitting there looking at the love in each other's eyes, they knew that it would be ok anyway. Now they could survive this. They could survive almost anything.  
  
"I love you." Max said. To anyone else this would have seemed like it came out of nowhere, it's not like he had just said something or done something incredibly sweet, or they were going, which is when most people would say I love you. But not to them, they both knew that sometimes they just got an urge to tell the other to try to make them know just how much they loved them. "I need to make sure that I tell you that often enough.  
  
"I need to make sure you never have a reason or even a chance to doubt, how much I love you." Logan said with soft husky voice.  
  
"Logan that's really sweet...but we have to be careful with this. You need to get that Logan, like you can't do the hole touching me with a glove on all the time, it is too dangerous." she had finally said what neither one of them wanted to bring up. The risk of him dying in all of this.   
  
"Honey it's worth the risk." Logan said not loosing that soft tone of voice.  
  
"No, it's not worth risking your life Logan." Max said needing him to understand this.  
  
"Shouldn't I decide that it is my life." Logan said not getting defensive, but definitely loosing that soft tone he had a second ago.   
  
"What if it was mine. You wouldn't risk it then would you?" He shook his head. "Then you shouldn't ask me to risk yours. If you don't care if you die, then think of the pain it would cause me to loose you. The pain you went through when you thought you lost me, are you willing to risk hurting me that way?"   
  
"I *never* want to hurt you." Logan said almost urgently. He needed her to get that after what had happened earlier.  
  
"Then we need to be more careful Logan."  
  
"Ok, but we still need to be together, spend more time together. Speaking of time Max it's getting really late."   
  
"Your right," Max said looking at her watch. "I should probably go."  
  
"Stay." Logan simply stated.  
  
"Logan, remember careful?" Max said in an incredulous voice.  
  
"Max, remember guestroom?" He said with the same tone only with a mocking edge to it. Then after seeing the death glare of Max's he added. "Just stay with me a while longer Logan, then decide."   
  
"That I can do." She said and he breathed a sigh of relief. He smiled at her as he got up to clear their coffee cups.  
  
"Logan?" Max called to him.  
  
"Yeah?" He called back from the kitchen.  
  
"Your not wearing the exo?" She asked as he was walking back in the room towards her.  
  
"umm.. well, no I'm not." He replied, he hadn't told her about this yet.  
  
"How?"   
  
"Joshua's blood." He replied simply.  
  
"It's still working? My transfusion didn't last you this long." Max said looking down at his legs.   
  
"Yeah I am seeing Sam about it tomorrow."  
  
"What do you think is going on?"  
  
"I have no idea." Logan said honestly. "This has been different then with you. I could walk right afterwards. And yeah it is lasting longer."  
  
"I wish I could give you a foot rub like last time, to see what you can feel." Max said with a despondent look.  
  
"Maybe someday." Logan said giving them what they both needed when it came to the virus. What they had both been lacking, and caused them to drift. Hope.  
  
  
AN: I know it has been a while since I posted. Life and classes and everything is just   
really sucky right now. Please review cheer me up. 


	11. chance

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
  
AN: Well a few chapters left. Thanks for all of the reviews everyone, especially Max. seriously Max I always love your reviews I will be in a bad mood and so I will post another chapter just to get a new review from you cause they cheer me up so much so thanks. (and by the way yes i do know that makes me pathetic, and no I don't care.)  
  
  
  
Logan opened the door to his penthouse and walked in to hear the phone ringing. He rushed over to it and picked it up in a hurry. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey you." Came Max's voice. She wasn't talking to his softly and sweetly like she had last night, or that morning when she left after staying in the guestroom. Her voice had her old attitude back in it, but it didn't have the harsh cold edge that it had in the past few weeks either.  
  
"Hey sweety, what's up?"  
  
"Just wondering how it went at Sam's." She said it like a statement but it was really a question.  
  
"Well I guess. He doesn't know what is going on but is going to run tests and thinks we should be able to find out."  
  
"That's good, it will be nice just to know even if it's that your body will reject the cells soon."  
  
"What you don't like surprises?" Logan asked although he already knew.  
  
"I am just sick of them."  
  
"I know how you feel honey. Your completely right either way I just want to know as soon as possible." Logan paused for a second thinking if he should ask what he wanted to, but afraid she would say no. "So are you coming over for diner tonight?"  
  
"Sounds good to me, eight o'clock good?"  
  
"Yeah I will see you then sweety, I love you."  
  
"I love you too." Max said her voice finally returning to the tone she had used last night before hanging up.  
  
No sooner had Logan hung up the phone and put it back in the holder than it started to ring again.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi Logan it's Sam I have some news for you." Sam got right down to business knowing that Logan had no patience when it came to his legs or even news about his legs.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well I am not sure yet but from the blood I took it looks like you are more compatible with Joshua on a molecular level than you were with Max."   
  
"And what would that mean exactly?" Logan asked anxiously.  
  
"Well keep in mind that this is just a possibility from what I have seen, to make sure we would need to run a lot more tests and it would take some time. But basically it would explain why you could walk right away, your body accepted the cells more easily. The real benefit is that your body might not reject them, ever. I don't want to et your hopes up too soon, but there is a chance that you could be looking at a permeate cure." Sam explained to Logan.  
  
"Are you saying that I may be healed permanently? No more exoskeleton or wheelchair?" Logan asked unable to believe.  
  
"Actually I am saying more than that." Sam explained hoping that Logan wouldn't get too existed in case it turned out to be untrue. "If you are compatible enough with Joshua there is a chance that your body wont reject any of the cells he gave you. Including the antibodies for the virus. What I am saying is that this might cure the virus, actually you might already be cured." Sam heard a long pause, then a loud thud. "Logan you there, you ok?"  
  
"Yeah sorry I uh...dropped the phone. Sam are you serious?" Logan was still in shock over the news.  
  
"Yes I am serious Logan, but remember it is still just a chance, Don't Do Anything Dumb." Sam said sternly. "But I thought you deserved to know there was a chance. I want you to come in for tests to see if you will reject the cells eventually. Then we will do tests with the both of you to make sure that you will be ok. Logan I need you to know this is just a small chance." Sam said he really didn't want him to get his hopes up.  
  
"But still a chance." Logan said, and it was too late for not getting his hopes up. All he could think was that he might be able to touch Max, soon."  
  
  
  
AN: what did you think, PLEASE review and let me know. I am really busy cause I am in the last three weeks of school, but will post as often as i can, more reviews I get the faster I write. 


	12. mistakes

disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: Thanks for all of the reviews I really appreciate them (mostly cause I am a loser and I put whether or not I get reviews above things like how I did on my history paper, or anything else in my fucking life) anyway thanks. And I don't know how I am ending this but am open to suggestions, it seems most of you want the virus cured and I might do that but I am not really sure yet actually. Well anyway here is another short chapter that I wrote instead of my physics lab.  
  
  
  
Logan was standing in front of the stove cooking, he turned around to get a whisk from the counter behind him and saw Max standing there in the doorway watching him. He couldn't help but smile, she looked fantastic. He said nothing for a second, simply grabbed the whisk turned around and whisked the beshmel sauce and took it off the hot burner for a second before turning back to Max and finally speaking. "Hey you"  
  
"Hey" Max replied in a soft voice. She looked the same as always, was dressed the same, hair was the same, except for something small that was different. She looked like she wanted to smile but was holding it back he noticed, but that wasn't it. It was her eye's, they were shinning with joy, like a kid on Christmas morning. She was happy, really happy and her eye's completely gave it away. "What's with the grin?" Max asked after a few seconds of silence.   
  
Logan had been studying the way Max looked, he hadn't even realized that he was just standing there staring at her with a big geeky grin on his face. "I'm just happy your here." He said, "Early too, I wasn't expecting you to show till eight thirty."   
  
"Got done with everything early, Crash was boring, thought I would come hang with you, keep you company while you cooked our dinner. But if that's a problem I can always go and come back when your done." Max said with a little smile actually appearing on her face. "But seriously Logan you had that smile on your face before you saw me so what's up?" Max wasn't letting this drop.   
  
"Well I heard from Sam and it turns out I might never reject the stem cells, and might be able to stay walking for a while." Logan said now turning back to stir the tomato sauce. And check on he pasta noodles. He didn't see that the smile had instantly faded from Max's face and was now replaced by one of concern.   
  
"What else did he say?" Logan didn't really even notice how Max's tone had hardened  
  
"Not much just that it was a possibility and that I would have to go in for some more tests." Logan said casually draining the noodles.  
  
"You know what on second though Crash doesn't seem as boring as it seemed before." Max almost snapped at him, and turned away walking out of the kitchen. "I'll see you some other time ok." Max said and started to walk for the door. Logan immediately ran after her getting in her way at the door not letting her leave.  
  
"Max what is it what's wrong."  
  
"Nothing!" she snapped trying to get past him again.  
  
"Then why are you leaving?" Logan didn't understand at all what could have made her change her mind so quickly.  
  
"Because I don't want to be here." She said making another attempt to get by him, but he once again got in her way.  
  
"Why not?" Logan pleaded with Max, "Come on we said we were going to be open and honest with each other, so talk to me Max."   
  
"You son of a bitch! How dare you say that when your the fucking bastard who is lying to me!" She yelled at him almost frightening him. "Sam called me too Logan and told me that you might be cured too he wanted a blood sample from me. And just last night we were talking about being open and honest and you were going to keep this from me! I think I have every right to be pissed at you!" Max said stunning Logan for long enough to pass by him. But he recovered before she was out the door. He reached out and in one last attempt to keep her there grabbed her arm.  
  
  
  
AN: Is the virus cured, or will Logan be re-infected? And will they be able to save him if he is? Will Max forgive him? Will Asha suffer a horrible death? Am I going to get reviews for this chapter? 


	13. let me know what you think i should give...

AN: THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!!! I was so happy that I got so many I just sat down and wrote this as soon as I could.  
  
  
Logan let go of her arm in an instant, but they had touched, and they both knew that it was enough. "Go lay on the couch now, I will call Sam, and the paramedics." Max ordered with danger she went automatically into soldier mode. Logan was able to go lie down without any problem. She ran to the phone and dialed the number then ran into the livingroom to see Logan no longer laying but sitting on the couch taking off his shirt. The first thing she noticed was that he was checking himself for the welts he would get. Next she noticed that he didn't seem to have any, in fact he seemed fine. But she was still worried, it might just be taking longer because he did barely touch her, and maybe he still did have some of the antibodies fighting it. But that didn't mean he would stay ok.  
  
"Hello?" Sam Carr asked picking up the phone at his office.  
  
"It's Max, Logan touched me." She replied bluntly still quite obviously still in soldier mode.  
  
"How is he right now?" Sam asked right away his voice showing a lot more panic then Max's had.  
  
"Actually he seems to be ok but still I am worried-" Max started to explain but he cut her off.  
  
"I understand bring him to my office right away I can run tests and see what is going on." He said and as he did Max was already motioning to Logan for him to fallow her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Logan had protested the entire time saying that he was fine, but Max wouldn't listen as she drove Logan's Aztec to Sam's office. He was glad though that she was still there with him, that she still cared about him, and that he would have a chance to explain and apologize for before. They arrived there quickly with the way Max was speeding through the streets.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Your ok it seems you still have the antibodies for the virus in your system Logan, you were lucky." Sam said to the two sitting on the other side of his desk.  
  
"Wait does that mean we can touch." Logan asked with as much hope as a child asking his parents for a new toy.  
  
"NO!" Sam quickly exclaimed. "Sorry it's just no you can't because your body could start to reject them soon we don't know yet, so until we know more you can't touch." Sam said hating the disappointed look that came over both of their faces. "For now just be happy your not dead, and that there is a chance that in the near future you might be able to touch each other again." He said trying to cheer them up, it seemed to work better with Max then Logan. She was just happy she didn't kill him like she had been fearing she would.   
  
"So those tests you need to run to find out if I will reject the cells, how long should that take?" Logan asked looking for more reason to hope.  
  
"I'm not completely sure, but from what I have looked at so far I am guessing it will take me about a week."   
  
"So for now what do we do?" Logan asked him.  
  
"We wait..." Max finally spoke up, "together." At Max's words Logan turned his head towards her and smiled. He got lost staring into her eye's, and was thankful that he could still do that. God those eyes I could be lost in them forever and not even care. They are so dark, beautiful, mysterious, captivating, that was it exactly they were captivating. And it was the same way with Logan's eyes for Max. In fact they actually did seem lost in each others eyes, they actually forgot where they were and what they were doing until Sam finally spoke up dragging them back to reality.  
  
"Max is right until you know you just have to be patient and wait, and...be...careful." Sam said looking at Logan and stressing the last few words. And they left the office together went back to the penthouse. Logan thought that Max had forgotten about before, but as soon as they walked in the door he found out he was wrong.  
  
"What the hell did you lie to me for Logan!" Max exclaimed as soon as they got in the door.  
  
"I didn't want to get your hopes up." Logan said simply but when he saw Max's hardened expression thought it was best to elaborate. "I know that I was wrong, but I just thought that you didn't deserve to get your hopes up and have them be crushed if it wasn't necessary. I just thought about the first time how crushed you were when that lab guy took off. I know you handled it well, but I know you were devastated inside. And I didn't want you to go through that again if I could help it. I was going to tell you later, either way it worked out. But after we knew more so you wouldn't have to be as hurt."  
  
"I deserved to know Logan, god even the doctor gets that, why can't you!" Max said not as mad but clearly still somewhat angry.  
  
"I know you deserved to know Max, I know I was wrong, but please I was making lasagna before, which I am pretty sure I can salvage, why don't we eat and talk." Max just scowled at him, this would not be fixed with a meal. "How about if you stay you can grill me all night. Ask me anything you want to know and I will tell you and I promise to be completely honest." Logan said holding up two fingers in a scouts honor way.  
  
"Anything?"   
  
"Anything."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What is the story with you and Asha?" Max had started with some easier, but now she was getting to what she wanted to know.  
  
"We are just friends, we have always been just friends. She made it clear that she wanted more. I made it clear that I was in love with you and nothing would ever happen between the two of us." Logan said simply hoping that would satisfy Max's questions about Asha, that was a subject he didn't want to get into.  
  
"How many women have you dated?" Max asked, she had always been curious about things like this. It seemed like he had been quite the playboy in his past.  
  
"Seriously or at all?" He asked now hoping they would go back to the topic of Asha.  
  
"Both"  
  
"Well seriously, um there were four. Just dated there were many more, but most were actually just unsuccessful first dates during college." Logan said simply honestly knowing he couldn't come up with a number for the later part and hoping she wouldn't press for one.  
  
"Well I know about Valerie and Daphne who were the other two serious ones?" Max realized the more she knew about this stuff in Logan's life the more she wanted to know.  
  
"Christine, she I dated throughout all of highschool, she was my first girlfriend ever, my first love. And the fourth is you." Logan said the last sentence in a sweet voice hoping that it would get Max to forgive him and let him off the hook, but he had no such luck.  
  
"How many girls have you slept with?" Max asked happy with the face that she got when she asked the question.  
  
"Um....five." Logan said "What's with these questions."  
  
"You said anything." Max said simply "Plus it's fun to make you uncomfortable." She added with a smile. "Speaking of which let's get back to that. Any of those five one night stands?"  
  
"No." He said firmly. "God Max what kind of idea did you have of me?" Logan asked.  
  
"Let's just say you came on very strong at first. Wait a minute you are answering the questions tonight." Max had something she wanted to ask, but didn't really know how to. "How did your parents die?" Max asked in a softer voice then she had for the rest of the questions.   
  
"My father died, when I was nineteen, in a car crash, and my mother died two years later of breast cancer." Logan said with a tear in his eye.   
  
"Why don't you ever talk about them?" She asked her voice even softer now.  
  
"I know it has been ten years, but when I start to talk about it I don't know it's like it is happening again somehow." Max nodded at Logan's words she knew how he felt, it was how she felt about the siblings she had lost.  
  
"How many poems have you written about me?" Max questioned knowing they needed a change in topic.   
  
"I'm not sure, I'm guessing around thirty or so." Logan said noticing how Max smiled at this information.   
  
"Did you ever for a single millisecond, wish that I had never come down into your skylight?" Max asked what she knew would be her final question. Either way he answered it she wouldn't want to ask anything else after.   
  
"I don't even think it would be possible for me to wish that, even for a millisecond; I love you too much." Logan said holding her gaze with his needing her to see the truth of his words.  
  
"Ok." Max said simply. She then took the last bite of her lasagna got up, putting her plate in the sink. And started walking towards the guestroom. "I am crashing here tonight I will see you in the morning." She said as she walked. When she reached the door she turned towards Logan as she opened it and blew him a kiss. "I love you, goodnight."   
  
"Goodnight Max I love you too."   
  
  
AN: I liked it the question is did you. Oh and if I get at least five requests for it I will kill Asha. Please review I write ten times faster when I get more reviews they really do inspire me to write. 


	14. why does it feel so bad?

AN: Well you guys asked for it so here it is.  
  
  
It was beautiful out. One of those wonderful day's that makes you want to go to the beach and lie out in the sun. It was bright and sunny the sky was laced with clouds of cotton candy, and the birds were singing. Max and Logan were standing there on the freshly cut grass holding hands.   
  
"It wasn't your fault Logan." Max said softly as she watched the tears slip down his cheek.  
  
"Yes it was." He choked out in a voice so small that if Max didn't have the enhanced hearing she could have never heard it. "I kept her doing all these dangerous things in Seattle and that is what got her killed."  
  
"No it wasn't Logan. Asha was doing something for the S1W, not for you. And you couldn't have even stopped her from doing this if you had tried. You didn't have anything to do with her dying." Max was trying to find the words to comfort him but knew that they didn't exist.  
  
"She didn't deserve to die not like that." She had been doing work for the S1W when she was shot. They of course ran off leaving her in the cold alone to die.   
  
"She died fighting for what was right, fighting for those who couldn't fight for themselves. She died trying to make a difference in this messed up world. I think it is how she would have wanted it." Max took her gloved hand from his and wiped the tears from his cheeks.   
  
"Thank you." Logan said quietly. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too." Max said in the same hushed tone. The funeral had ended and people were just starting to leave the cemetery, but Max stayed with Logan for a while longer. An hour later and they were the only two left there, but Max didn't care. She would be there for the man she loved as he said goodbye to a friend. Finally Logan turned to Max and spoke.  
  
"Max let's go home." His voice was broken and She knew he would never really get over the loss of his friend, the same way that she never got over the loss of anyone in her life. But she knew that he would survive, he was strong. So she took his hand and started to lead him away from there towards home. She stopped a second later though. Standing about fifty feet away he stood watching them.   
  
"Logan can I meet you back at your place?" Max asked and when Logan saw what she was looking at he nodded, lifted her gloved hand and kissed it softly then walked away. Max walked over to him slowly. "Hey Alec."  
  
"Max." He looked at her for a second then went back to staring at Asha's fresh grave.  
  
"You didn't come during the funeral." It wasn't a harsh question or accusation, but simple curiosity, she knew he was hurting about this.   
  
"Couldn't, we never went through the funeral part when a solider died, it makes it too real. I didn't want it to be real." Alec paused for a second. He then started to walk towards the grave Max walking next to him. when he reached it he bent down and touched the freshly dug earth. "But it is real isn't it?" He wasn't really asking so she didn't answer. Max just knelt beside him and put a comforting arm around him. "I thought that it wouldn't hurt like this. That if I stayed away, kept it light, she wouldn't get hurt. And if something did happen it wouldn't feel so bad." He then did something very unlike himself, he let his shields down. He leaned against Max and let some tears fall from his eyes. "Why does it feel so bad."  
  
  
AN: I know it was really short sorry. If I get reviews I will get the next chapter up. I have two idea's for it and am letting you guy's decide what happens next:  
  
1. I have this be the last time Asha is mentioned and get on with the story.  
  
2. I have them find out Asha was actually bad, do a lot of Asha bashing, then get on with the story.   
  
Review and let me know what you think. And if you have any other idea's for what you would like to see happen I am very open to suggestions. Oh and thanks for all of the reviews on the last chapter, if I get 10 on this chapter I will post again right away. 


	15. The bitch!

AN: Well Asha Bashing won by a landslide, so some Asha bashing then I move on with the story. Thanks for all of the reviews by the way.   
  
  
  
Max walked into the apartment on time for diner, but did not smell any cooking. So she headed to where she knew Logan must be, the computer room. They both knew that there were only two things that make Logan lose track of time like that, Max, and protecting the innocent; and Max had been at work all day. Plus Max knew that Logan had been very frustrated with something with eye's only lately, she just didn't know what. As much as she hated it he still didn't like to be completely open with her about things he thought would worry her. Sure enough Max turned the corner to see Logan typing furiously and looking through some sort of documents madly. Then suddenly his computer screen froze up. "GOD DAMNIT!" He screamed slightly startling Max. She knew at that second that he needed a distraction, it became her mission to take his mind off whatever was frustrating him so much.  
  
"Well if you tell you what it is I might damn it for you, but only if you ask me a little nicer then that." Max said leaning against the door with a smirk. Logan looked over at her his face instantly softening.  
  
"A little full of ourselves today are we?" Logan replied with a similar smirk.  
  
"Can I help it if I am just that good?" Max said trying not to laugh at herself.  
  
"I guess not... so what's up?" Logan was just glad Max wasn't asking about what he was working on. The truth was that ever since Asha's death Logan had been looking into what had happened. He wanted to make whoever was responsible pay. The problem was that nothing was making sense with the whole thing. Logan had gone to some of her fellow S1W crusaders to see what she had been doing, but they had no idea. In fact they had said she had told them that she was busy for the next week or two and only come to her if it was extremely important. So Logan had figured that she was doing something on her own that was either personal to her, or that she thought they wouldn't want her to do because of the danger involved. But the more Logan looked into what she was actually doing the more confused he became. He kept finding these ties with her killers and this person that he knew very little about. He was known only by his initials JWS. The only other things Logan knew was that he was responsible for many deaths of good innocent people, and that he also seemed to be after eyes only. This JWS had been trying to track eyes only for a while trying to trace hacks and he had gotten close a few times, closer then anyone else. And somehow he was connected to Asha's death. This is what frightened Logan and drove him on. What if Asha had been found out as one of his informants and that is why she had been killed? That question had been plaguing his mind, he had to know. His thoughts were interrupted by Max snapping her fingers in front of his face.  
  
"Hey you in there Logan?" She asked the concern for him showing on her face.  
  
"Yeah sorry just thinking, so dinner right?" At her nod he walked into the kitchen to see what he could cook her for dinner. They simply reheated some food, and sat down to a comfortable dinner together. Max tried to keep his mind off whatever was bothering him, but when it was obvious that it wouldn't work she asked him about it. At first Logan denied there was anything going on out of the ordinary. But he realized that he was going to need Max to help with this, so he might as well fill her in now, which he did. To his great comfort she was nothing but understanding and offered to do whatever was necessary to help.  
  
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Max was breaking into what she thought would be some old warehouse, but instead only looks that way from the outside. Inside it was very high tech, tons of different computers and such more advanced then she had seen. Whoever this JWS was he was not there normal bad guy. She starts looking through files in one of the many offices, everything they do, even the illegal activities were so extraordinarily well documented and organized, it was almost scaring her. She doesn't even know exactly what she is looking for, she saw huverdrone footage of Asha's death and had a good look at the guy, so now she was looking through what seemed to be employee files of JWS, which all had pictures, to see if he was in it. She picked up her next file Russell, G and when she saw the picture she almost dropped the entire thing. It was a picture of Asha, this was probably a briefing of the target that they had given her assassin. Max grabbed the file and started to sneak out of there. Max was back at her place she wanted to get changed before taking the info to Logan, but really she kinda wanted to read the file first. She wanted to make sure that she knew if there was something bad in there so she would know how to break it too him. She sat down at the table with the file and opened it. There was a picture of Asha and information about her, but for some reason under the name it didn't say Asha but Gabbie Russell. This was odd, for such an obviously high level organization, it seemed weird that they would have her name wrong. Then Max flipped the page and was completely stunned.  
  
It wasn't information about there target, rather there informant. Her name was not Asha, but Gabbie Russell. And she wasn't really a part of the S1W or an informant for eye's only, Logan, but it looked like she was some sort of spy. She was working for this JWS and only was pretending to fight for the good to get information about S1W and Eye's Only. 'That Bitch' was all Max could think. Other then that she was just beyond stunned. There were pages on Alec, and Joshua along with some of the other transgenics. There was also information about the S1W. And there was a great deal of information on Logan as an informant for Eye's only, thank god Logan never told her the full truth, or he would be dead. Mostly though it was information on Max. They seemed very scared that a great deal, almost half of the file in fact was information about herself. Then she went back to the first page about Asha and looked at the current status it said:  
Current Status: Informant 1846 (Russell, Gabbie) has been terminated. It was a necessary precaution after it became clear she was no longer that great a value to us, and she knew too much about the identity of James White Sandman.   
At that second only two thoughts were in Max's brain. The first was 'I can't believe I mourned her, the bitch got what she deserved.' And the second was a lot scarier, 'James White Sandman, oh god it can't be a coincidence, it has to be Ames White is JWS.' Finally the phone rang and a new thought was added to the previous two 'Oh god how can I tell Logan this?'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey Max, howd it go?" Logan asked as Max walked in the computer room later that night.  
  
"You were right they killed Asha." Max said in a quiet voice, "I couldn't get it out of there but I saw this file about her execution....I was right it wasn't your fault she was killed." Max had intended on telling Logan the hole truth, being completely honest. "It was mine, JWS is James White Sandman, it's Ames White, it has to be. He killed Asha because she knew me and wouldn't help him get me." Max had looked into Logan's eyes and knew that she couldn't tell him. All that would do is hurt him and there was really no point to it. She hated Asha for what she had done and tried to do, but she was dead now, it didn't matter. She could pretend that Asha was a good person and that she had liked her if it would make Logan a little happier.  
  
  
"Max honey it's not your fault." Logan said pulling a glove on and taking her hand in his. "It isn't your fault Ames is after you, and it isn't your fault he did this ok?" Max nodded trying to act reluctant to agree though like she would have really acted in such a situation.  
  
"Can we just not talk about it now?" Max asked knowing that would probably be the best way out of this for her. He nodded and led her to the kitchen. He cooked her a big meal and they are and talked and even joked around and neither brought up Asha again that night.  
  
Max later told Alec the same story she had told Logan, only this time emphasizing that it was Asha's connection to Max not eye's only and especially not Alec. She couldn't let him think he was in any way responsible for the death of someone else that he loved. But she didn't want to hurt him with the truth either.   
  
It was hard for Max at first whenever someone would mention Asha, and how wonderful she was, what she had sacrificed for the cause. It made her want to gag, but she would nod and smile and agree knowing the entire time what a bitch Asha really was and keeping it to herself. finally she couldn't take it anymore and she told Original Cindy.  
  
"That Bitch! I swear boo if she wasn't dead already I would lay a smackdown on her ass!" Original Cindy had just listened to the hole story and was now settling into a nice rant. "I never liked that bitch, knew there was something wrong with her. The way that slutty ass bitch used to look at your boy I always knew she was one not to be trusted. You know the only thing they did wrong by shooting her was not making it painful enough!" Original Cindy noticed Max's smile. "What?"   
  
"Nothing it's just nice to hear something other then how great she was. And not have to hide how much I fucking hate her."   
  
"The skank got what she deserved if you ever need to hear that or say it you know where to turn girl." Max laughed and they spent a while just bashing Asha, including making a dart board out of a picture of her, but then decided that the bitch wasn't worth it and moved onto more important topics.  
  
"Hey boo how are you two doing with the tests?"   
  
"We find out any day now, any minute now maybe, Sam will page us, and thank god." Max said a small smile leaving her face. "Lately it seems to be getting to us some not being able to touch, I mean we are talking more and we are doing ok I guess but it's just so..."  
  
"Draining?" Original Cindy finished for her.  
  
"Yeah I just hope I can touch him kiss him, I could die happy if I could just kiss him." Max was going off into the world inside her mind, but was brought back by a beeping noise. She looked down at her beeper, expecting it to be Logan about diner, but it wasn't. She knew that number, that was Sam's office number. "Oh my god." She said in an almost whisper. She ignored whatever OC was asking her ran over and dialed the number in a hurry. "You paged?"   
  
"Yes Max I just left Logan a voice mail, because I have the tests back about the virus..."  
  
  
  
  
AN: I know I am evil for ending it there. I really am not happy with the way this chapter came out and am thinking of rewriting it let me know what you think. As for the next chapter I am leaving the choice up to you guys whatever gets the most votes wins should:  
  
1: The virus is not cured and they decide to stop trying.  
  
2: They think it is cured touch and they were wrong and Logan dies (but doesn't regret the choice cause at least he got to touch her one last time.)  
  
3: The virus is not cured they stay together and keep looking for a cure.  
  
4: The virus is cured for now, but Logan will reject the cells soon enough it isn't a permanent cure.  
  
5: The virus is cured and they kiss but decided to take it slow.  
  
6: The virus is cured and they 'celebrate'(would not be descriptive, but would make a reference to it)  
  
I know there are a lot of choices, that is why I am having you guys decide for me. And as soon as you guys do I will post the write and post the next chapter. 


	16. what do we do now?

AN: WOW I can not believe the response I got, I love you guys. The reviews seriously just made my week, thank you all soooooo much!  
  
  
"Yes Max I just left Logan a voice mail, because I have the tests back about the virus...It's cured."  
  
"What?" Max didn't know if she had heard him right or if this was a dream or what but she knew she needed to hear it said again before she could even start to believe it.  
  
"It's cured, permanently. He wont reject the cells including the antibodies, the virus is cured you two can touch!" Max could almost hear Sam smiling as he told her this. But she was sure that the goofy smile on her face had to be a lot bigger.  
  
"Wow...I don't know what to say this is so great! And your sure?" Max needed to be sure she needed to know.  
  
"Yes 100% sure I checked it all twice, it's cured." Sam reassured her.  
  
"Oh god I don't think I can breathe."   
  
"Max, are you ok?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine...just...I'm so happy, I just cant believe it." Max was about to hang up when she finally realized what to say. "Sam...thank you." She said with a gentle firmness he could hear in her tone how much she appreciated this, how much it meant to her.  
  
"It's no problem, now go, be with Logan." Sam said then hung up the phone, very happy with the fact that he got to give them good news, god knows they need some, and they deserved it.   
  
Max did just that rushing out of the apartment on her way yelling to OC that it was cured. She rode quickly to Logan's wishing she could go faster, but not wanting to draw attention to herself. She made it to the penthouse in a relatively short time, but to her it couldn't be short enough. She raced up the stairs not patient enough to wait for the elevator. But when she went in the penthouse he wasn't there. "Damnit." She swore under her breath as she remembered Sam saying he left Logan a message. Where in the hell is he, I can finally touch him and he is nowhere to be found. She called his cell and left him a message, then just waited. And she wasn't very patient with it either. Finally the longest hour of her life later, she heard the elevator arrive on his floor. For some reason at that second she got nervous. She had thought of kissing him as soon as he got in, but now something in her changed. She knew he loved her, but that was when he didn't have to be with her. What did he want to do now, she wanted to know first, so she hid. She hid in the guestroom with the door open a crack. She watched as Logan entered the penthouse god he looked good. He walked in and did what he always did checked his messages hoping Max left him one and he would get to hear her voice. The first message was a source, he skipped and saved it he could go over it later. Nest he got the news from Sam, and Max closely watched his every expression. Her heart soared as she saw the smile that crossed his face. But she wanted to see more, what he would choose to do on his own. Max watched silently as he picked up the phone called her place and left her a message.  
  
"Max I got a message from Sam it's cured, we can touch. God I can't wait to see you love, all I want to do at this second is kiss you. k I love you!" Logan then hung up and dialed another number. Max's pager went off she turned it off in a hurry but Logan still hear it he knew she was there. He ran into the room and just stared at her for the briefest second. Then he grabbed hold of her and kissed her just like the first night she was back. But this time it was perfect, he didn't fall down afterwards. He didn't get a rash and he didn't stop breathing. They stopped for a second both making sure he was ok. And when they were sure he was they kissed again with more passion then they thought existed. After a minute Max pulled back.  
  
"So now that you have kissed me what do you want to do Logan? Where do we go from here?"  
  
  
AN: It is cured the cure is permanent and they will be together. But you guys were no help all saying either choice 5 or 6, so I am asking again before I continue this. I can not make up my mind so you guys have to do they take it slow or do they 'celebrate'? Let me know what you want to happen cause I suck at making up my mind. 


	17. Fluffier then cotten candy!

AN: I should be studying for finals, but I read all of your reviews and well I had to get the next chapter up. I don't mean this to brag but I think it is one of the best chapters I have written (that might just be because I love the fluffy stuff) and I don't know but I think I might have this be the last chapter let me know what you think please.  
  
"So now that you have kissed me what do you want to do Logan? Where do we go from here?"  
  
"I want to spend the rest of my life loving you." Logan said in a husky voice. And Max looked into those dark soulful pools he called eyes and saw that this wasn't a line and it wasn't something he said with the passion of the moment. He had thought about this and he meant it, Logan did love her and he did plan on doing so for the rest of his life. But the truth was to Logan it wasn't a choice he had made. He didn't choose to fall in love with Max it had just happened and he didn't choose to keep loving her, he couldn't help himself. If it was a choice he would have chosen to love her, because he did love being in love with Max. But no matter what he would always love her, even if he didn't want to, or tried not to for some reason he could never stop loving her. It was part of who he was, the most important part. Logan had spent his life looking for the meaning of it, why he was here. That's what eye's only had been about partly just to give his life meaning. But now there was no doubt in his mind what the point of his life was. He lived for one reason, to love Max, to be there for her, that is what he was meant to do; it was his purpose.   
  
"That sounds good to me, why don't we start with tonight." Max kissed him again more passionately then the last time. When she pulled back, she pulled him toward his bedroom. She led him over to the bed both their hands now joined. She kissed him again quickly and softly before lying down on the bed in front of him. Then she said words that were more beautiful to Logan then any piece of music ever written. "Love me Logan."   
  
  
~*~*~*~*~(I don't write that sort of thing so use your imagination if you want)~*~*~*~  
  
The next morning Max woke slowly, not quite sure of where she was, but knowing she liked wherever it was. It was bright out, she must have slept a long time which was strange. The world was still fuzzy and she was unsure of a lot of things, but she knew whatever was going on she was happy. In fact she hadn't felt this good in a long time. It was then that Max felt something move behind her on the bed, and an arm wrapped around her and pulled her tightly against their chest. All of her memories came back to her instantly of the night before with Logan. She snuggled closer to him with her back tight against his chest, and she loved the way his arms tightened around her, but it wasn't enough. Max turned over in Logan's arms and placed her head on his chest, which she started to kiss lightly. She worked her way up to his face, planing on waking the man she loved with a kiss, but instead, she saw that Logan was already awake gazing lovingly at her. "Good morning" she said and gave him a quick peck on the lips.   
  
"Actually good afternoon." Logan replied slightly amused at Max's shocked expression. "It's almost one."  
  
"Are you serious?" Max asked and at his nod looked over at the bed side clock. It said 12:47. "Wow I can't believe how late it is, how long have you been awake?"   
  
"A few hours, but I was completely against the idea of getting out of bed." Logan said holding Max tighter to himself. Then he said with a small smirk on his face, "I thought you didn't sleep."  
  
"Well you really tired me out, so I am with you I am completely against the idea of getting out of bed." At Max's words, Logan's smirk became an incredible smile. "But I do have to call into work, if I want to keep it as transgenic central I need to keep my job there with Normal." Max said and started to lean over Logan and reach for the phone. When she was completely on top of him with one arm reaching for the phone, he grabbed that arm and pulled it back down.  
  
"Actually Max I already called Alec is going to cover for you I figured he would be the best choice seeing as Normal seems to worship him."   
  
"Then why didn't you say that before?"   
  
"Well if I said that before," Logan said in a deep husky voice, "We wouldn't be in this position now. Max laughed at this, and even Logan let a chuckle out.  
  
"Actually Logan I wouldn't be so sure, I was pretty much planing on us being like this right after I had called." She leaned down and placed gentle kisses along his Jaw line working her way up towards his ear. "Logan?"  
  
"Hmm?" He half moaned as Max kissed behind his earlobe.  
  
"If we are stuck in bed all day what ever shall we do?" She said in a fake innocent little voice.  
  
"Well I am sure we can come up with something."   
  
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They only left the bed for two short periods of time later that day. Once was to the bathroom, where they took a bubble bath together. And after that was to the kitchen to get some food, they actually ate very little before they got caught up in each other and ended up making love on the counter. They didn't really get up though until the next morning, and that was only because Alec said he couldn't cover for her again. So Max had to leave this heaven on earth, like they knew she would have to do eventually. And as soon as she was gone Logan was hit by reality as well. But now to both of them, reality didn't seem as bad as it did before. Now they were facing it together.  
Well I love writing that chapter I hope you liked reading it. I am not sure weather or not to end it here or keep writing so once again it is up to you guy's whatever more people vote for me to do I will do, and I am open to any ideas or suggestions or any criticism. EXCEPT for anyone who is a damn M/A shipper who just comes in and reviews only to make fun of, or criticize Logan or the M/L relationship. You can criticize me but NOT Logan. 


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